Am I a narcissist? Maybe I am…

Ohhh! The Trials Of Being A INFJ! {Not Literally A Trial………….}

No no one has ever accused me of being a narcissist…

One thing I notice about most people. They listen to respond, not listen to understand, the same goes for ‘reading to respond’ not reading to understand. Its like they think you are writing for validation, when I already know my mind, I’m interested in other people’s point of view…

Maybe sometimes I’m thinking ‘You didn’t get what I meant, did you?…Or I can’t be bothered to keep explaining, because then it’s like arguing. If I go ‘No, I meant’…It sounds like I am set on MY! point of view & I want them to agree. Obviously someone closer to me, I bother to explain…

YES! I know Buddhism isn’t a religion, where the fuck did I put ‘religion’…Hmmm??? Think out of the box ‘People!’…I was starting a discussion about living in the present. People are so ‘PEOPLE!’ Dumb! Ohhh! Yeah! They read a lot about the subject. They word it a lot more eloquently, but its from a book, not from their heart, from their own head…

The post was the dalai lama geezer, who is a buddhist, but the post was about ‘Living in the present’…Also…People follow like sheep ‘Baaaa!’ I think the same…’Baaaa!’ I never read the post & joined in the discussion about ‘Living in the present’…

I think I could be a narcissist…but a nice narcissist, who does not set out to destroy people, lol…Or I’m just an arrogant, stuck up bint, with the ego of a very big egotistical thing. I don’t like people. I like individuals, but by not liking people & only liking individuals, I am arrogantly seeing them as objects, to be dissected…Ummm!

At least I keep my thoughts to myself…Well in my blog. Which has one reader, so technically not to myself, lol…I can’t control the way people think & behave & I don’t expect to, where as lots of people appear quite controlling. I just end up feeling dumb…When in my blog I call them ‘Dumb!’…

I say I feel dumb, I don’t believe I’m dumb, that is where I start to feel arrogant…Gawd! My INFJ personality can be quite tiring sometimes, but in my own defense I don’t literally feel ‘Doom! & Gloom! because thinking is tiring. Thinking is good. Thinking leads to an answer, sometimes that conclusion takes many twists & turns…

If I was a conformist. If I was to perceive myself the way the mainstream people perceive me, in their ‘conforming’ judgemental way. In their eyes I’m a worrier. Nooo! I’m a thinker. So & so don’t like me ‘I should not care’ Because we can’t be liked by everyone. I agree with that, but my mind goes on a thinkfest to work out the in’s & outs…Then I am being ‘To the mainstream conformists’ Arrogant, stuck up, weird, etc etc etc…

To the INFJ me…No! I’m not being arrogant, or stuck up, I can’t be a conformist, that feels wrong to me. I can’t put on an act to be ‘mainstream friendly’ I am always being me. Which in a world of conformists, divided into control freaks & sheep…Oops! I mean leaders & followers. Dominant & submissive, or just ‘switch’ peeps, lol…

As I was saying. I am soooo! different. I soooo! don’t fit in…Its like so many people take things so literally. They don’t see the bigger picture. They don’t see that you can criticize yourself, without the low self esteem, self loathing & suicidal thoughts…Such is life…Such is people…

“Yaaay!” Someone got it, that its not about buddhism, not being a religion…

SS Can’t change the/our past..
CAN USE IT TO REWRITE THE/OUR FUTURES..
🤓🤓🤓

Sometimes you get an individual thinker, who responds with their own opinion, not to agree with everyone else’s comment, of  ‘Buddhism is not a religion’. Of course my perception of that could be wrong & others probably see it differently…

I posted…

Image may contain: one or more people and text

I wrote…

I know the Dalai Lama, is a buddhist, not a pagan, or witch, but I see a lot of buddhism as feeling right to me. This makes sense to me. Living in the present. Though of course the past is always there…
I always tell myself that I can’t change the past, I can create a better future. The same as I don’t want to suppress the negativity of certain past crappy things, I don’t think suppressing is a good thing…
What do others think?

Nuff said for now…Mz moany mc moo bag, is going to shut up now…

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