I’m not sure if I can go through it all again. I wish I had a Dom/spanker I could trust, to give me a good, thorough spanking, a release, the ultimate in relaxation……

Hmmm! I was feeling niggly about my spankee/sub life & useless fitbit…Now I feel sick to the pit of my stomach, though I’m trying to hold it together. Be calm my suspicious mind. Why would my husband go back to the parasitic, evil, psycho, hormone induced princess slut from hell, after all what she done to hurt us…Surely he is not that much of an brainless idiot…

…but he loved her, she was the center of his universe. He blames her psycho mother, he can’t see that it had to come from her. If he brings that evil **nt! back into our lives again, I don’t think I can forgive him this time. Is he meeting her? He is exchanging messages? Can’t he find a sane woman to befriend, FFS!

I suppose needy, attention seeking, emotionally insecure, screwed up bint, is far easier & more fun. Because a woman in her own mind, who has self respect, is independent, an individual, capable of making friends with men, with out offering them exactly what they want & can’t get any where else…

Surely there are sane women out there, looking for a nice guy…Ohh! Or is that wrong. Are nice guys boring? Are sane, strong minded women, who know their own mind ‘boring’…Hmmm? Do I have to be needy, attention seeking, looking for a strong guy to protect, guide me & give me daily attention, 24/7 on call, in case I am desperately in need of mentoring…

OMG! Sir! Can I masterbate? Just masterbate, if you want to masterbate…Unless it really turns you on, to have to get permission. If your so called Master, is married, it is night time & he is in bed next to his wife. DON’T TEXT HIM! asking if you can frigging diddle yourself…&…Master Dick, Master to the princess slut. When you are in bed with your wife…TURN! the frigging phone off…Yeah! Because I could just see my ‘then’ Dom being that thoughtless & disrespectful to my husband…Ohhh! Sooo! Boring! & Sensible! aren’t I…

If we have to go back to how that was, I’m not sure I can take it this time around & come out the other side feeling secure in my own mind, of how I am as a person. As a loving caring wife. It feels like a kick in the gut. I am starting to question my own personality. I must be a right ***t! if people I am supposedly close to can feel the need to find someone who is completely different to me…Then I have critics in Bs & I am not like other subs & I am hated by a bunch of ‘lovely’ women, for whatever reason? I’d love to know why? Then maybe I can change, or defend myself…

Nuff said for now……

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